Pink it is!

     When I was growing up, I always despised pink and anything girly.  No lace, no frills and definitely no tea parties!  With 4 brothers, I was pretty much a tom-boy.  Since I didn't have any sisters to steal clothes from, I stole them from my big brother, Jonathan.  He would get so mad at me for taking his shirts from his closet after he had left the house for early morning seminary.  We didn't fight about a whole lot (until we both had to share the same car in High School), but I loved his shirts.  My friends weren't really the girly-kind-of girls either.  We would have belching contests, blue darts (haha), and play pranks on others.  We had so much fun!  I always thought the girly side of me could and would be reserved for when I had a family of my own...with girls of course.  I had my girls names picked out and a stash of clothes I had collected over the years.  If I wasn't blessed with sisters of my own, surely I would at least have one daughter.  Well, fast forward 14 years of marriage and...still no girls.  Just more boys to add to the mix.  It's taken me some time to be okay with this reality.  For a little while we had some hens and female dogs to help even things out a bit.  They are all gone now and it's just me with my boys.
     For 11 years, my favorite color has been blue, representative of my 3 little men.  However, as my life has shifted the last few years, the reality of more children has slipped away from my future, I am forever grateful for the sister figures I do have in my life.  As I have come to accept my life, the things we can change, and all that we cannot - I am grateful for all the boys in my life.  They are strong, wise, and carefree, loving and accepting and so far, my brothers have married some pretty awesome wives and Jared has some pretty incredible sisters!
     The last few years of our lives can be likened to a hurdle race.  Since about 2008, we have had hurdle after hurdle.  Sometimes Jared and I have knocked a hurdle or two down but we have always gotten back up, brushed ourselves off and continued the race.  The hurdles began when Jared lost his job during the economic crashed of 2008.  Just six months before we had purchased our very first home - we had been saving for years to purchase.  With Jared losing his job, like so many others, we sought for a loan modification.  After almost 20 months of trial payments and Jared working for hours and hours, week after week, being told conflicting stories of where we were in the process and weekly "we misplaced your paperwork, can you fax it AGAIN," we finally received a foreclosure notification and were faced with the decision to walk away or file for chapter 13 bankruptcy.  We opted to keep our home. Looking back, when we were in the thick of the trials, it seemed as if nothing was going right.  We now see that we were led and guided decision after decision by Heavenly Father and may be even better off with the house than if we hadn't gone through it.
      Those were two major hurdles, and many many more since then have slowed our pace.  But, life continues and we are still in the race!
     Our newest hurdle is breast cancer!  We believe we've got this one too.  The blue has been replaced with pink and I love it!  Pink everything!  I would paint the outside of my house pink if the HOA and neighbors would allow for it :), really I would!  In fact, some wonderful neighbors came and surprised me with pink Christmas lights all over my house, and I have the most beautiful pink wreath hanging outside.  I love pink!  I love the strength and power it represents.  All the women who have gone before me, a glittery blazing pink breast cancer path.  I will add my pink sparkle to the trail and come out victorious!  I'm not really okay with the alternative option!
     Jared and I have been overcome with emotion as we reflect on all the people in our lives who have stepped forward to carry us at this time.  I have lots of pictures I will post over the coming weeks but the prayers, love, cards, flowers, gifts, hugs, food, babysitting, house decorating, house cleaning, donations- everything has boosted us in ways I can't begin to describe.  Our hearts are full and I feel like I have an army of earthly and heavenly angels standing beside me!  Pink is awesome!  Pink is power!  Pink is my favorite!  My boys are proud to wear pink.  My 8 year old Carson wants to wear his pink shirt every day!  For Jared, a day rarely goes by without him wearing pink somewhere; a pink shirt, pink socks, he even went down to Wal-mart to buy pink fabric swatches to make pink pocket squares.  He was the one who went and found all the pink for our family picture above - and in Texas, where pink and boys does not mix - but he did it for me.
     So after the tests, scans, blood draws, and painful biopsy's, on Wednesday December 17th I start my first of 6 rounds (every 3 weeks) of chemotherapy.  I can't say I am looking forward to this, I just know that the only way to get it behind me is to start.
     My pink boxing gloves are on and I will "Fight Like A Girl" because I have 4 of the best reasons to!  Their names are Jared, Hayden, Carson and Brady.  This is my story.  I hope you like stories with a good ending, (no rooting for the underdog here) because my story will be one of victory!