Merry CHRIST-mas!

     As I reflect on the meaning of today, Christmas, my heart is full- more full than it has ever been.  I reflect on how this season, in the year 2014 the true meaning of Christmas has been made alive and true in every aspect imaginable in the lives of our little family!  There have been countless individuals who have been Christ's hands on earth, reaching out to help and serve our family this last month.  I typically try to stay on top of writing my "Thank You" notes, but I am so far behind I don't even know where to pick up.  I hope our December's will never be the same again.  It's not about the "stuff" - the true meaning of Christmas is so much more.
     If I were asked to describe what the last few weeks of our lives have been like, I would say "Roller Coaster."  Not a little one, with little bumps and slight curves.  I'm talking a roller coaster like this one.  Lots of crazy twists and turns, highs and lows and some flippety-dips!  I'd say the image below is a pretty accurate image of my recent emotions!  This last week has especially been difficult.

www.enginsoft.com

     My body seems to have been receptive to my first round of chemo and side effects have probably been mild in comparison to others I have heard about, but it has still been rough.  There have been lots of symptoms I was expecting and many others I wasn't at all prepared for.  With booties being all the rage these days, we figured I just fit in and our theme for the week has been "It's All About the Base!"  The base has been one hot miserable mess! lol - However, I still have my hair, even though it has lost it's life and shine, it's still attached to my head...for now!  My wig helmets are patiently waiting for when they will temporarily cover the most obvious sign of my sickness- for my children who for now have shared that they don't want to see me bald.  I get it!    
     Last week as I was heading back to Orange with my mom to receive my white blood booster shot, we passed by Children's Hospital of Orange County - the very same hospital that 8 years earlier our little newborn was rushed to, an hour and-a-half away from where I delivered him with congenital pneumonia (I find it very ironic that this is a stone's throw from where I receive my chemo treatments by the way).  As we drove by, I felt so sad thinking about all the little kids who would be sick in the hospital on Christmas Day.  With our family having received SO much, we wanted to give.  So I made some calls around to Children's Hospitals with cancer treatment centers and asked what we could do.  Chemo bags for teens was the answer we got.  So, I sent a text out to my family and rallied the troops- they have been such an amazing support.  With a days notice, we met, everyone brought tons of supplies and we made about 25 Chemo-Christmas bags for teens.  I love my family!!!

     As life continues forward, I hope my boys and I will never be the same.  I hope this isn't a Christmas that we ever look back on and think, "remember that awful Christmas when mom had breast cancer?"  All of the suffering, heartache and tears would be worth it to me if my family can move forward tomorrow and the next day with the constant reminder that life is sometimes super tough but we were never meant to go it alone.  A dear friend of mine sent me this quote by Jeffrey R. Holland, "Don't you give up.  Don't you quit.  You keep walking.  You keep trying.  There is help and happiness ahead.  It will be all right in the end.  Trust God and believe in good things to come!"  I love that!!! 

Merry Christmas!